21 November 2007

The Hollywood writers’ strike is in the third week and its effects are being felt more and more each day. In fact, things are so bad that plants in Hillary Clinton’s audiences have been forced to write their own questions.

At the Ibero American Summit in Chile, Venezuelan President
Hugo Chavez called the former Spanish prime minister a “fascist,” which prompted Spain’s King Juan Carlos to tell Chavez to “shut up.”
The moral of the story: “Disdain in Spain falls mainly on the insane.”

A 33-year-old man from southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony to atone for stoning two dogs to death 15
years ago. Here’s the weird part.  It was his sister.

Oprah Winfrey says she was so devastated by allegations of sexual abuse at her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa that, at one point, she considered turning the Academy into a Catholic school.

A Boston priest has been arrested for threatening and stalking late night talk show host Conan O’Brien. A forgiving Conan granted the priest absolution after sentencing him to do two monologues and three sketches.

More sad news for “Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere.
According to TMZ, Hayden was spotted sobbing on her surfboard after trying in vain to free Oscar de la Hoya from fishnets.

Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson was sentenced to 24 hours in an Arizona jail for driving under the influence and drug possession.
And today Lindsay Lohan said, “Wow, 24 hours.  That’s like a life sentence.”

Lindsay spent 84 minutes in jail.  I’m not a judge, but shouldn’t a prison sentence at least be as long as a prison movie?

Mike Tyson will spend his jail time in a tent in the Arizona desert with 1,500 other inmates while wearing pink underwear. That’s a pay-per-view fight waiting to happen:  Mike Tyson in the pink underwear in one corner, and Oscar de la Hoya in black fishnets in the other corner.

Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson has apologized for referring to a recent loss to the San Antonio Spurs as a “Brokeback Mountain” game. One thing about “Brokeback Mountain” games, they sure make you jump higher.  And, in some cases, shoot quicker.

According to USA TODAY, 36-year-old Lance Armstrong is dating
21-year-old Ashley Olsen. Lance says sex with Ashley is a lot like riding a bicycle.  You never forget how.  And you really only need one testicle.

Good news/bad news in Saxeville, Wisconsin: The bad news is, a deer hunting grandfather fatally shot his 18-year-old grandson in the leg and groin. The good news is, the kid will be stuffed and mounted in time for Thanksgiving.

And finally, and not a moment too soon…

A mentally retarded man armed only with a hairbrush was shot and killed in a barrage of bullets by New York City police. The man’s family accused the NYPD of excessive force. But apparently, it wasn’t his first brush with the law.

Goodnight everybody.

Gino@wlup.com