With the 60th annual Grammys happening soon, the music industry is getting ready for a night of celebration. Meanwhile, the rest of us are preparing for an hours-long endurance test filled with head shrugs and screaming at the TV.
Our shared disinterest is the result of decades of out-of-touch, embarrassing Grammy moments. In the spirit of brevity, I’ve decided to zero in on five of them:
1.Jethro Tull beats Metallica in “Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Vocal or Instrumental” category. You knew this one would be at the top… shortly after Metallica played “One” on the 1989 Grammy telecast, the award was given to Jethro Tull for the band’s “Crest of a Knave” album (“Steel Monkey,” anyone?).
2. The very-plugged “Teen Spirit” loses to the “Unplugged” Clapton. Nirvana lost Best Rock Song in 1993 to Eric Clapton’s sleepy, “Unplugged” version of his Derek and the Dominoes hit, “Layla.” With Nirvana representing the future of rock, Grammy voters clung to an old, familiar favorite. With the lights out, it’s less dangerous.
3. Milli Vanilli wins “Best New Artist.” Lip-syncing duo Milli Vanilli took home the Best New Artist Grammy in 1990. The revelation that “Rob and Fab” didn’t actually sing on Milli Vanilli’s music led to them being stripped of their Grammy nine months after they won it. Nothing kills credibility like giving an artist’s award to people who don’t actually contribute to the art that’s being rewarded.
4. Celene Dion freezes out instant classics to win “Album of the Year.” 1997 delivered one of the Grammys’ most misguided wins: Celene Dion’s “Falling Into You” beat out instant classics (and critical/commercial smashes) “Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness” (Smashing Pumpkins), “Odelay” (Beck) and “The Score” (Fugees).
5. Christopher Cross’s debut beats out Pink Floyd’s “The Wall.” The Grammys’ reputation of being out of touch was rocketed into the stratosphere in 1981 when Pink Floyd’s double album masterpiece was topped by an empty yacht rock album whose only lasting pop culture contributions are “Ride Like the Wind” and the absolutely brutal “Sailing.”
Dishonorable Mention
As established with Milli Vanilli, the “Best New Artist” category has more embarrassments than points-of-pride. The list of dubious nominees is endless, including question marks like the Blues Brothers, A-ha, Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band (who?) and Marie Osmond. But one of the biggest “WTF” moments in Best New Artist history happened when A Taste of Honey beat the Cars, Elvis Costello, Toto and Chris Rea in 1979. The Cars and Costello went on to be enshrined in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Chris Rea went on to become successful in his native U.K. And Toto gave us “Africa,” which kicks ass in its own, not-really-rocking way. A Taste of Honey left us with this turd:
