(If descriptions of sexual acts offend or make you uncomfortable, please stop reading here.)

Writing a literary sex scene has to be hard work (so to speak). Since 1993, Literary Review has been dutifully grinding its way through works of fiction to identify authors responsible for writing an “outstandingly bad scene of sexual description in an otherwise good novel.”

And the winner is… Christopher Bollen. In his book, “The Destroyers,” he offers the following:
“She covers her breasts with her swimsuit. The rest of her remains so delectably exposed. The skin along her arms and shoulders are different shades of tan like water stains in a bathtub. Her face and vagina are competing for my attention, so I glance down at the billiard rack of my penis and testicles.”

Some of the runners-up seem even worse. Case in point: Laurent Binet who uses the term “mouth-machine” to add to a clumsy steel-forged oral sex metaphor.

Read more here.